“Listen or thy tongue will keep thee deaf.” Indian Proverb
Sometimes we just need to know when to keep our mouth closed. We often just talk and talk to make sure our voice is heard, but sometimes it is best to stay silent. If we keep on talking we seldomly have time to listen. Listening is more important than talking in my opinion. When you listen you show that you are:
- Being respectful
- Being attentive
- Trying to process information (make sense of it all)
- Confirming previous thoughts
- Creating new thoughts
- Developing a plan on how to deal with what you just heard
Listening is extremely important especially when it comes to dealing with people. When we listen we learn a lot about a person. We know their likes and dislikes. We know when they are being truthful or not. We know when someone is being genuine or putting on a show. Developing great listening skills takes time and practice. I am learning this lesson the hard way because I am VERY OPINIONATED and when I have something to say I say it and I don’t care who has a problem with it. For the past few weeks I have been saying certain things and expressing my opinion in a very forceful way. I think I have been dubbed “the angry black woman” in one of my classes lol I don’t mind that title in that specific class because most of those people are rude and says some borderline racial remarks (don’t get me started on that). Anyway when I’m on my way home from class or meetings, I reflect about my day. I realize that I have said some things that only I, and maybe a few others, would understand. I realized that when I speak I am speaking to deaf ears because most of the people I come in contact with have a hidden (well not anymore) agenda and because they are in power they can careless what anyone else thinks.
I had this attitude that I am going to say what I feel to show these people what they are doing is wrong, but one of my mentors said to me “it is better to listen sometimes than to speak.” So I took her advice and started listening. I had to hold my tongue before I said something that would get me introuble. Once I stopped doing most of the talking, I was able to see the conniving agendas of certain people. Now I know how to “play the game” and deal. Yes it is upsetting sometimes when I see injustice happening around me, but “what happens in the dark shall come to the light” and it is about to be the day time for a long time for certain people.
Now that I am listening more I have become wiser. Sometimes it is best not to speak because you can be hurting yourself and digging a deep hole that you may not be able to get out of. So when they say it is better to be seen than heard, take that advice. Be more attentive and aware of your surroundings. Observe people’s interactions, actions, and conversations. Listening shows that you are developing wisdom. With wisdom you will not act on impulse. You will have calculated moves that will hopefully benefit you in the end. So ladies (and gents) this week let us begin listening more and speaking less, you will be surprised at what you hear.
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