So I was on Essence.com and saw a picture of Lala in a bikini and there was a bit of a dispute in the comment section of how she looked. Most of the commenters stated something along these lines “she looks great real women have curves.” They then proceeded to comment on the dimples and cellulite shown on her thighs and other things as well. I shook my head a little because this topic has been on my mind quite some time and I’ve wanted to write a post about it, but I guess now is better than never so here it goes.

When it comes to titles, people always want to be “politically correct” to not ruffle anyone’s feathers. I’ve even fallen in to this category with my post series “For Curvy Girls” which I am considering changing the name for this very reason. With titles and labels people feel like they are bound to a certain category. No one wants to be labeled in a negative light. We try so often to be politically correct that we become somewhat delusional.

For many years people have been advocating for more realistic images of women across the United States on TV, in magazines, and in various advertisements. No one really wanted to see very thin models wearing clothes targeting women who are more than double their size. I am not sure when, but the term “curvy” was born and that replaced the categories of being plus size and the word no one wants to use fat.

No one wants to be labeled, fat, large, or big, even if it is the reality and so it seemed like many women size 10 and up adopted the term curvy. Then we kept seeing real women have curves and all of the photos were of women at least a size 10. I looked in the mirror and jokingly said, “wow I must not be a real woman then.”

I have a naturally small frame. I do work out occasionally, but that’s just to be healthy not to be a size 0. I wear between a size 2 or 4 depending on the designer and the cut. Most if not all of my clothing are labeled as smalls. I was my “biggest” last summer weighing about 135 pounds. It wasn’t until 2007 that I began weighing anything over 120.

Anyone that knows me know that one of my favorite things to do is eat. My metabolism is extremely fast and so I don’t put on weight as quickly as other people. Now that I am getting older, that is starting to change.

Dove and other beauty companies have their “Real Beauty” campaigns which are great because now you get to see a more realistic picture of women in magazines, on billboards, and also TV, but what about the women who like me have naturally small frames. We are shunned and ridiculed because we wear a size 4 and sometimes smaller. I know some of you may say, “well we are talking about the people who want to be a size 0 and starve themselves to be skinny.” No I do not fit in to that category, but when will there be a campaign embracing all sizes and body types? We go from one extreme to the next without finding the happy medium.

When will we really define what curves are? Are curves only for women who wear a size 12 and up? Are curves just for women who have a large butt and wide hips? This term is misleading because there is no clear definition. I’ve seen women who are more “lumpy,” for lack of a better word, than curvy, but that’ve adopted that term.

As a personal stylist I have to learn about each and every body type and what clothing options are best for each as well to make my clients feel comfortable and embrace their bodies. There are some body types where “curves” are not as defined or they have a smaller frame so do I tell them they are not “real women?” For my clients who are full-figured do I provide them with pieces that show off their curves because that’s what’s popular rather than pieces that are more structured and will help enhance their look overall?

I’m tired of seeing on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram “shout out to the girls who are not a size 4, real women have curves.” So because you are a size 10, 18, or 24 you are more of a woman than I am? Ok cool. For part of my high school life and most of my college life I’ve kept seeing and hearing “Skinny women are evil” thanks to Monique. So what if I like salad and smoothies, I can eat cheeseburger as well, but today I choose not to.

The “curvy syndrome” as I like to put it, has made women embrace being unhealthy. I don’t think curvy means eating two or three meals at a time and not working out. Everyone is not going to be skinny or have small body frames but let’s face it; the obesity rate for women, especially women of color, and even children is alarming. Of course you should embrace yourself and your body type, but don’t use it as an excuse to be demeaning or unhealthy. I understand that some of the women who are larger and considered “curvy” are this way because of health related issues, medication, depression, etc. but we all, no matter what size, should focus on living healthy lives instead of being categorized.

Some of you may say that those of larger statures have been shunned for so long that now it is finally time for you to shine. I totally agree! It has been all about being skinny and slim and showing almost unrealistic images of women since forever. I get it, but now that you know both sides of the spectrum shouldn’t all women and all sizes be embraced? Or are you out for payback and revenge because you were excluded for so long?

How about we move to real women are healthy. Let’s not focus on the exterior but do what is necessary to get ourselves right internally. Let’s have campaigns of women of all sizes and shapes visiting their doctors regularly, eating healthier, managing appropriate food portions, and also working out. Being a size 2 or 22 shouldn’t matter and your size should not determine of you are considered a “real woman.”