Nique Speaks

“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” ~Epictetus

Gratitude-noun- the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful

Thankful-adjective- feeling or expressing gratitude; appreciative

Grateful-adjective- warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received

“Gratitude is the best attitude” Anonymous

This past Sunday’s message at church was about being thankful and also living a thankful life. We shouldn’t just say thank you when we receive something like a gift or a compliment. We should be grateful and thankful just for life. We should be thankful for the lessons we learn that help us become wiser and stronger. We should be thankful and grateful for being able to read this post or view this site. We should be thankful for being able to breathe, smell, hear, taste, and touch. How many times do you say thank you in one day? How often are you appreciative for the simple things in life? Many people (myself included) take things for granted. We need to become mroe humble and appreciate the things around us.

When I was on vacation with my friends in St. Thomas this summer, I remember standing on the balcony of the condo we were staying at and just standing their in awe. I was just so amazed at the beauty God had produced and I stood outside on the balcony just saying thank you. Not just thank you for me being able to go on vacation and have a good time, but I was just thanking God for being who He is because no one or no big bang could have created such beauty. Don’t wait until you have a problem and God brings you through and then you say thank you Lord. Give thanks at all times even when things get rough, thank Him for all of your struggles, because obviously you emerge as the victor.

So being that this is the week of ThanksGiving Iam going to start my Journal of Gratitude and everyday (or as often as possible) I will write what I am thankful for. We learn something new everyday and that is a blessing, being able to learn, so take this journey with me as we prepare to live a thankful life.

I saw “Precious” last week Wednesday, and if you follow me on twitter (@Nique_GoodyBag) you would have seen my tweets about the movie. I said the movie was good but not great, because most of the time when a book is turned into a film, something is lacking. I first read the Push when I was in high school and actually took a class with Sapphire (the author of Push). Push is one of my all time favorite books because Sapphire did an incredible job touching on issues that affect many young women and bringing them too light.

Yesterday I was ranting on twitter about KissFm (98.7 in NYC) and how they totally misunderstood the message of the movie and the message of the book. When it comes to recreating a book and turning it into a film, elements of the book will be removed and other ideas that were not presented in the book will be present. I understand how the movie business works and to get something to go main stream, you must cater to those you are requesting funding from and the people who will support the movie. Ok with that being said, I did not like the fact that Precious’ new role was to fantasize about being white and think that white was beautiful. That was one issue that I had and agreed with the commentators on “Open Call” about because the media wants us to believe that beauty is equated with being white or how light you are. That was my main issue with the movie. Everytime Precious was being abused or attacked, she would black out and fantasize about being a celebrity with a light skin boyfriend with”good hair” and when she looked in the mirror she wanted to see a white woman.

As you know Precious is obese, very dark, illiterate, and also abused. She has 2children by her father and a mother who abuses her physically, emotionally, sexually, and mentally. This movie was about a triumphant African-American woman who wanted to do better for herself so that she could do better for her children. She did not want them growing up in the same environment as she did. She did not want them being subjected to the same abuse that she did. Precious did not want to be another statistic “African-American teenage mother on welfare without an education.” In the movie and in the book she made tremendous progress and I think her story is a story of victory. Everything does not have to have a “fairy tale ending” and that is what made the book and movie real. These are real issues that people face.

Incest is a topic that is taboo. People do not want to talk about how they were abused by a family member, but we need to stop being afraid and speak on this issue because this is real! If we run from this topic and only talk about how Precious and African-Americans were portrayed in a negative light, then we will never see progress. This book was written well over 10yrs ago and it is still relevant. We need to get pass the issue of color and try to figure out how this movie tells the story of many and now more women and even men may come forward and deal with their abuse properly.

On Open Call, they said that the saviors of the African-American community are always white or light skinned. Now you are reading into the color issue too much with this movie. Paula Patton and Mariah Carey are light skinned African-Americans but that does not take away from “their blackness.” It is a bad trend that white women are protrayed to be the heroes in African-American schools and communities, but if we keep criticizing our own people, we are never going to get help. We are just complaining and being reactive instead of being proactive. Should it matter where the help comes from if people are in need? Should it matter where the help comes from if it can save a life? Black or white, light skin or dark skin, it does not matter, what matters is that people are being hurt and abused and are not dealing with these issues properly. It is one thing to only think that only white is beautiful, that DEFINITELY needs to change, but where help comes from, should not matter, if we do not want to help ourselves. So blame Oprah, Tyler Perry, and the director Lee Daniels, for the casting, lets get past that trivial issues and figure out how to help our people.