*I decided to repost an old motivational writing because I feel this is very relevant to my life now and hopefully it can help one of my readers* Originally posted January 4, 2010

Self-Discipline-noun- Training and control of oneself and one’s conduct, usually for personal improvement

I know many of us set goals or resolutions for the new year, and by February we have become less motivated or we have taken our eyes of our target. Well today, the first Monday of 2010 I encourage all of you to exercise self-discipline. Jesse Owens said “We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort” In order for use to achieve our goals for the new year and for life in general we need to be disciplined. Too often we fall off of the wagon and take our eyes off the “prize” and we never get what we want or accomplish any of our goals. As a result, we can sometimes feel like a failure or empty. Many of us fall off of this “wagon” because of the lack of self-discipline.

We say we want to get healthier or in shape, but we do not change our poor eating habits or CONSISTENTLY exercise. We say want to save more money and stick to our “budget,” but we spend frivolously or we buy breakfast and lunch everyday or buy the pair of shoes that are not a necessity at the moment. We say we want to become closer to God and have a better relationship, but we do not spend time with Him daily by praying to Him, meditating, or reading His word.

In order for us to really see a change in our lives and feel accomplished, first we need to set REALISTIC GOALS. Our goals must be attainable and we have to set DEADLINES!!! Giving yourself deadlines and sticking to them will help you become more disciplined. So start off small with a simple to do list. What goals do you want to accomplish for the day, week, month, and year. Once you have set your goals stick to it!!! Self-discipline is crucial especially when it comes to improving your self-esteem, job at work, relationships with a family member, friend, co-worker, or spouse.

We need to change our habits and routines. Everything we do should be working towards one of our goals. Developing good habits and routinesare the first two steps in self-discipline. Say no to McDonald’s (I struggle with this and Burger King lol). If your friends want to go out to eat save money by eating before you go and just ordering maybe one drink and an appetizer instead of an entree. Getting in the habit of clipping coupons or looking for deals on line instead of just splurging and impulsive buying or leave the credit cards and debit cards home and put yourself on an allowance (I’ve started this already).

One thing that I struggle with is being TOO SOCIAL and PROCRASTINATING.I am always in somebody’s classroom talking or someone is always in my classroom talking and I procrastinate with grading, reading, or planning. I need to be more disciplined and keep my mouth shut because every Sunday I am always grading and it is stressful. I need to stop procrastinating and get the work done and I need to become more disciplined in that to make my life easier.

If you are comfortable where you are at this moment, that I great, but self-reflect and examine your life and see what areas in your life you need to be more disciplined. We can ALWAYS become better people.

Jim Rohn said “We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment”

I would rather suffer the pain of discipline to reach my desired goals then to be disappointed in myself and have regrets because I was not disciplined enough to accomplish anything. Which do you choose?

Independence-noun- freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others

Yesterday was the 4th of July also known as Independence Day. It was the day in which America gained its independence from Great Britain. Yesterday in church we sang a song that’s simply states “I surrender all.” When I think about that song and independence day, I think about all of the things I was set free from. No one is totally free, but we do not have to be in bondage things like pessimism, apathy, selfishness, fear, low self-esteem, etc. We can be set free if we just surrender all of our past hurts, pain, negativity, to God.

Independence is not only for countries, it is for anyone who wants a fresh new start. Whatever is holding you captive and keeping you bound spiritually, mentally, or emotionally, surrender it all. As the saying goes “Let  Go and Let God” then you will experience true freedom.

This post was inspired by Chris Brown’s Michael Jackson Tribute from the BET Awards last night.

I am not going to lie, I was in tears during this performance. First of all, the dancing was ON POINT! There is no one (not Usher, Omarion, or Justin Timberlake) who could have paid homage to Michael Jackson like Chris Brown. He was not given the opportunity to pay respects to Michael Jackson because of the incident with Rihanna last year and for him to pour his heart out on stage was extremely emotional.

Twitter was going crazy last night and I must say I only saw a few ignorant tweets, but if you did not think that performance was heart felt and genuine, I am not sure if you are human. Some people feel his cry was staged, but Chris Brown is not that great of an actor to pull that off. He finally had an opportunity to pay tribute to his idol the right way and he was able to show the world that he truly is sorry for his actions. He made himself vulnerable to the point where he could not sing.

WE ALL make mistakes and bad decisions in our lives, so who are we to judge this young man and incredible entertainer? Sure his earlier efforts may not have seemed “genuine” to some, but he deserves a second chance. If a person is trying to show you that they want to make their lives better and is just asking for forgiveness, why not forgive them? It takes more energy and effort to hold on to grudges and past hurts, than it does to forgive and be set free from emotional and mental bondage. You have to constantly remind yourself of why you hate or despise that person so much that you miss out on the joys of life, and clearly seeing Chris Brown perform is definitely a joy with the lack of talent that we have in the music industry today.

Pastor Bernard has taught me that in order for a person to change in the mind, they must first have a change of heart. So Chris Brown has done all he can do, he has done his community service, he has apologized, and he has been suffering in isolation since but read the words of “Man In the Mirror”

 I’m Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It’s Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

If someone is trying to make it right, don’t deny them the opportunity. Look into your life and ask yourself, have I forgiven the person or people who have caused me hurt, pain, or suffering? The first step to healing starts with you. This is not going to happened in one day. I am still struggling with totally forgiving people who have hurt me, but that performance and listening to the words of the song made me reevaluate myself. So

I’m Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I’m Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change

Persistence is the twin sister of excellence. One is a matter of quality; the other, a matter of time. Anonymous

Persistence-noun- to be repetitious, tenacious, or insistent; to hold firmly and steadfastly to a purpose or undertaking despite obstacles.

If you want something in life you must be persistent. Without persistence it shows that you really do not wish to have what you desire. This is a quality that all should possess because it shows a person’s determination. It is not very often that many people become successful without being persistent. As the definition states, you must be insitent, tenacious, and repetitious. If you fail once, don’t just give up, keep trying until you reach your goal.

One thing that we must keep in mind is that our goal must be realistic and attainable. What good is having persistence if your goal is unrealistic. For example, if your goal is marry rich and you constantly date men just for their money, you are labeled as a gold digger and therefore, your “persistent efforts” go in vain.

Be persistent in your efforts towards weight loss, or budgeting your money. Be persistent in your efforts for changing the way you view yourself and developing high self-esteem. Be persistent in your efforts to start your own business (as long as it is legal) to bring in additional income for your family. Be persistent in finishing school and attaining your degree.

Remember, without persistence, success is very limited.

Self-Concept-noun-the idea or mental image one has of oneself and one’s strengths, weaknesses, status, etc.

 Having a healthy self-concept or self-image is pertinent for having high self-esteem. If you do not believe in yourself, your talents, and your abilities then no one will. Often times, people determine their own self-worth and self-image based on what others think of them, and what people think is sometimes not accurate.

 Malcolm Forbes said “Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” Know who your true self is. Know your strengths and make them stronger. Know your weaknesses and try to improve in those areas. Don’t dwell on what you feel you can’t or don’t do right. Do not give power to negative thoughts. Have a positive attitude and build your esteem by valuing the positive attributes.

 If you know there are qualities that you wish to possess that will build your character, don’t loath in your own self-pity because you feel you are not the best person you can be. Focus on making yourself better and developing a healthy self-concept. If you do not believe in yourself, love yourself, or deem yourself worthy, then no one will.

 Take a look in the mirror and what/whom do you see? You determine the person you want to become. No one else does. Be real, be positive, and make the change.