I’m going to try to give you the condensed version of my thoughts. Ok so recently 106 & Park did a show on self-image and Rocsi opened up about her being anorexic when she was in high school. First off, kudos to you Rocsi because many people are not as brave as you and have kept their story inside for so long. So thank you for sharing your story because you probably helped thousands of girls struggling with the same issue. I personally have not been affected by any type of eating disorder and that is just a blessing from God. Many people struggle with their self image becasue of how women are portrayed in the media. When you look at fashion magazines, majority of the women are pencil thin, but when you look at a music video, the more voluptuos the better. Instead of embracing all shapes and sizes many women are caught in a tug of war. Guys either like a girl with “a little meat on her bones” or they like the “model chick.” A guy you may like may prefer someone who is the complete opposite of you, but that should not dictate how you view yourself. So many females who were probably never told to embrace the body God has given them are on the fence, should I lose weight or should I gain weight?
This Situation is a Catch 22. I am very slim and all of my life I was reminded of how skinny I was. I would just look at people with the mean bbm side eye and just say…”ummmmm yeah you know I do have mirrors in my home, I bathe, and I put on clothes, I know what size I am.” People would say oh Janique you are so this you are so that and I have been called anorexic and bullemic MILLIONS of times before. It used to bother me, but then I realized that I was not meant to be “thicker than a snicker.” My mom used to always tell me, and still tells me (hi Ma lol) “Do you know how many women would kill to be your size? ” I used to say its not easy being this skinny so I don’t know why they would want to be this size.” That was when I was in high school and now that I have matured and became closer with God I realize that I am just truly blessed. I am not saying that if you are not a size 2 you are not blessed, but I am blessed that I am healthy and breathing.
Instead of wishing that we were another size, we need to make sure that we are healthy. I used to get tired walking up like 3 flights of stairs. People would always say….”you are too skinny to be tired.” That was the dumbest thing I ever heard in my life! There are probably people 2x my size who are in better shape than I am. When I started going to the gym people would look at me with the mean grill like “why is this skinny chick in here?” One girl actually said “What’s wrong with you? Why are you trying to lose weight?” I tried to be as nice as possible because I have a very smart mouth I said “I want to live a healthier lifestyle and I want to maintain my size so I do not become obese.” I smiled and walked away.You do not know what a person is struggling with. Like Rocsi said do not judge a person because you could be the one causing them to kill themselves.
I love blogging and I try to be as positive as possible when it comes to a persons personal life and body image (style wise…I sometimes disagree) because low-self esteem is deadly. Rocsi mentioned people talking about her ears, guess what, she knows she has big ears, just like Beyonce. These people look in mirrors just like you do. They know their flaws and imperfections, but that is what makes a person beautiful. We are all different and uniquely made in God’s image. I was listening to 105.1 the other day and people were talking about how much Free has changed. Yes her image has changed from her 106 & Park days, but who are you to judge? Instead of being so quick to tear someone down, that is too easy, how about we try uplifting one another. I was on Bossip and DimeWars and people were saying Rocsi just wants people to feel sorry for her and she need to stop stealing people’s husbands and eat a chicken sandwich etc. These people were ruthless! You do not know her struggles! I’m pretty sure you have some skeletons in your closet or have done something in your life that you are not proud of. We cannot pass judgment. We need to uplift. If people were more positive and encouraging imagine what life would be like!
So yes this was a VERY VERY VERY long post and I thank those of you who read this post, for reading it. To all of our readers struggling with their self-image know that you are not alone, but understand that you were made in the image of God. Instead of trying to change to appease someone else, lets work on becoming healthy and staying healthy. That is what is important. Ladies let us build each other up. Let us be more tactful and give constructive criticism that can help improve someone and how they view themselves. It is easier to be negative, don’t take the easy way out. Kudos to you Rocsi and all of the other women brave enough to share their stories. We appreciate you at HerGoodyBag. So I want every woman who reads this post to say these words at least THREE times a day “I am beautiful, I am unique, there is no one else like me. I love me for who I am and if a person doesn’t like it they can talk to the hand” Lol I couldn’t think of anything else to say at the end (don’t judge me!) Ok so you don’t have to say that three times a day, but just begin to love and appreciate yourself even more.
Stay S.W.E.E.T.
~Nique
