On Saturday evening when I was supposed to be finishing a paper I found myself on Facebook reading through my newsfeed and came across this article by Kristen Dalton Wolfe for She is More called “The Husband List: 12 Non-Negotiables.” Now this post won’t be about relationships per se, but the importance of having non-negotiables aka standards.
I get a lot of flack for my “non-negotiables” (which are almost identical to what Kristen outlines) when it comes to standards for men, but I refuse to settle. If I refuse to settle for a sub-par intimate relationship, then I should refuse to settle for anything sub-par in life.
Non-Negotiable is defined as: not open to negotiation or discussion.
They are the things that we cannot waiver on. Sometimes we get caught up in our emotions and feelings and we don’t think logically and agree to things that we would not normally agree to just to please people. We have to develop set standards that we live by and these are the principles that mean the most to you. As a believer of Christ my non-negotiables stem from the principles taught through Jesus as outlined in the bible. You have to stand firm on your beliefs. You know the saying,
“If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.” -Malcolm X
This is true in all aspects of life. You have to set standards for yourself, for others, for your finances, for your time, etc. Essentially, you are asking yourself what values and principles are most important that if they are ever violated would change the dynamics of your life?
You have to set boundaries to establish order in life and to give yourself a sense of protection from being violated. Non-negotiables include respect, commitment, and loyalty. So what are your non-negotiable?
black in many affiliations but other groups have white or yellow tops. Buttons on clothing are banished in many groups, but acceptable in others. The dead are embalmed in one settlement but not in another. Some bishops permit telephones in small shops, but others do not. Artificial insemination of livestock is acceptable in one district but not in another. In some communities virtually all the men are farmers, but in others many adults work in small shops and cottage industries. In still other settlements Amish persons work in rural factories operated by non-Amish persons. Practices vary between church districts even within the same settlement. Diversity thrives behind the front stage of Amish life.
The good news is that I’ve realized there are a few simple things you can do to protect yourself and keep your energy where it belongs: on delivering value to honest customers, making a difference and enjoying an amazing life.
That list was so helpful! I may have to make a separate vision board for my non-negotiables.