I was so frustrated on Twitter yesterday (@JaniqueHGB) because of those ignorant trending topics. Rarely do I participate because 90% of the topics focus on sex and negativity. That’s not what I am about so I just keep my mouth shut and stay off Twitter for a few hours, so I won’t get aggravated. Yesterday I saw the trending topics were #whymencheat and #whywomencheat. After I read a few responses I was just like “are these people serious.” If you are saying ridiculous things like #womencheat because her friend told her how good it was, or #mencheat because she can’t cook, you need help. There is no reason or excuse to justify why anyone cheats. No one is ever FORCED to cheat. People cheat because the CHOOSE too. Can any one give an example of when a person is forced to cheat? *waiting for responses* That is never the case. I honestly believe PEOPLE not just men or women, because both sexes can be unfaithful, cheat.
People Cheat because…
1. They are selfish- people cheat because they are selfish. They are only concerned with their wants/needs/desires. We must understand that when you are in a RELATIONSHIP it is no longer ONLY ABOUT YOU.
Relationship-noun- connection between persons by blood or marriage; an EMOTIONAL or other connection between people. You cannot be in a relationship by yourself. The keyword is connection and you need to or more people to create that connection. So when you DECIDE to enter a relationship, you must not only think about yourself, you must also think about others. If it is ALL ABOUT YOU….you are going to isolate yourself because as humans we cannot grow in isolation. We need human contact and that includes some type of relationship.
Instead of being selfish, you have to learn how to compromise. It is not going to always go your way. You must sacrifice somethings to adapt to this relationship you chose to be in. The sacrifice may include time, money, and some of your desires.
People cheat because…
2. Lack of communication. Communication is the basis of every relationship. We cannot function without communicating because we won’t be able to express our feelings, wants, needs, desires or any type of information. When problems occur in a relationship, they don’t just appear out of thin air and then you go and say “I’m going to go and cheat.” The problem probably started out small and you and your partner swept it under the rug and it wasn’t until the problem escalated that you have already betrayed your spouse. If we communicate with each other EFFECTIVELY then many problems can be prevented. When was the last time you told your partner how you really felt? I’m not saying have a therapy session every week, that is out of control, but what I am saying is both men and women need to talk to each other. How do I know you are not satisfied with me if you don’t express that to me? How can I possibly try to fix the situation. Instead of running out and cheating because you can and the other person is available, find ways to improve the relationship. If that doesn’t work, do what mature adults would do break up! You are not obligated to stay with your boyfriend or girlfriend. If you are in a marriage it is somewhat different because vows should be taken seriously and you should seek counsel. Bottom line is communicate what you want to your partner and if they are not willing to compromise, move on. Don’t settle because if you do, you will end up unhappy and/or unfaithful. We are living in the age of technology. There are a million ways to communicate….choose one
People cheat because…
3. They are followers. If the cool kids are doing it I should too. Classic case of monkey see, monkey do. If the cool kids jump off of a bridge are you going too? Instad of following behind what your friends are doing or what you see celebrities doing, follow your heart and do what is right. Have some respect for yourself and your partner. People who cheat don’t respect themselves because if they did, they would not just let a “jump off” have something that is so sacred. If you want to be promiscuous, don’t be in a relationship. In today’s times the STDs and STIs are running rampant. Protect yourself and your partner if you honestly cared.
One of the craziest serious tweets that I saw said “#mencheat because they are greedy. #womencheat because it is a necessity.” My face was priceless after I read that tweet. People were like yeah girl…blah blah blah hyping up the foolishness. When and why do you NEED to cheat? What book are you reading that says I NEED to be unfaithful, dishonest, deceitful, and selfish? Where ever you read that burn the book. There is no reason why a person needs to cheat. It is done by choice.
I have a few questions…is IT really worth it? It I mean potentially losing your family, friends, job (people who sleep with the boss, teachers who sleep with students), your reputation (smh Tiger), your money (sometimes) your respect, dignity and sometimes your life (Steve McNair, Arturo Gatti)
Is it really worth it?
